with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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