We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Is Oprah even human
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
