I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
