apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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