Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
