Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
