tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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