There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
