**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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