Just took my morning after pill in the library
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I see more hoeing in ur future
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