His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
