Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
