She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
