guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
