I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
look no pants
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my shit smells like andre
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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