And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
