If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
