you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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