yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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