When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
