he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
These tits shall not be calmed
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
