How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
