So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
