one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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