she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
