you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
