I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize