Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
