What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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