I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
