Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
