i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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