the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
