I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
