I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
