it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm both gender and math confused
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
