Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
