You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
