Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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