we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
