I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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