You don't have asthma, your pregnant
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
