What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
