Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
