I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
