"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
