Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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