Pappa wants mamma naked
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
