Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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