i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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