What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
